Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are? What makes you tick? Probably you have had some difficult times in your life. If you have faced them realistically, you will have wondered why you reacted in a certain way, or you might see a pattern of behavior that you seem to follow without having to think about them.
I was driving with my grandmother one day when I asked her what her mother was like (my great-grandmother). She told me that she often had headaches. I saw a pattern here. My grandmother, as well, often had headaches, in fact that was what led to some pretty big problems in my grandmother's life. Also, my own mother often had headaches, but they were dibilitating as they had been in previous generations. Learned behavior? I think so. I believe we have alot of power in our own minds that allows or disallows many of the things that happen to us.
What does that have to do with lifebooks? Alot. I only wish I could go back more generations. There are lots of clues.
I can go back and really learn about my families, only so far as there are memories. (my paternal grandfather is 102!) But I can also learn alot from just general information. I know where my great-great grandparents homesteaded in MI. I know my great-great grandfather was kidnapped by Indians along with his twin brother, and taken in to Canada from upper New York in the 1700's. I know the names of many distant relatives. And, most importantly, I can write the history for my children, giving them a real heritage. Alcoholism is often a family pattern, as is anger, and even mannerisms!
How did I get involved in this kind of work? I got a job putting lifebooks together for children who've been adopted. I saw how beneficial they were for these children, giving them a link to the past that had previously been non-existant. Even if they didn't grow up with their families, (many of them had been removed by Social Services for neglect or abuse). It was helpful and encouraging to them to see their past and see that they had the power to change many aspects of their lives. They could see how drugs, alcohol, and unhealthy living had influenced their lives, and the lives of those they love. Many had been split from siblings and family. Many were bitter, and angry. But I could encourage them to see what they could in a different, more gentle light.
We all need to look back, before we go forward. When a child has a tool such as this, it can help him from making the mistakes past generations have made. When a family uses these tools, it can make a great deal of difference in the way they look at things. It can keep them from going down the wrong roads, much like a map. It can force them to look at issues that need to be confronted.
Lifebooks give choices for change. And a choice is very powerful. Sometimes in life a choice can mean life and death. We have a choice to look both ways before crossing a street, don't we? When we have a lifebook, it gives us choices that are just as powerful in our lives. What directions we will go, and how we will travel.
Here's hoping that a Lifebook will be a part of your life, and the lives of your loved ones!
Sheryl S.
